After recent events I’ve decided that I need to take a step back and evaluate my life as a whole.
One of those evaluations hits on looks. Not that I am some vain person seeking the attention of others. Far from it in fact, I’ve never really cared much about what others thought of my looks.
There are however, some aspects of self-confidence that do reside within the sphere of how I feel when I present myself to the world.
Dress and such…
Honestly though, I just need a change.
I want more from my life than to just to always be the same person year after year.
I’ve had short hair most of my life and for the last decade I’ve kept to a short military haircut; even though I got out of the Marine Corps in the middle of ’09.
I started growing a goatee after a few years and it wasn’t until maybe six months ago that I decided to grow a beard.
YAY for beards!
Now I’m thinking…
Why not grow my hair out? Why not change my look up a bit more? Why not stop trying to be the person I was in my early 20’s???
I am in my early 30’s after all.
Sometimes we need to embrace change. And sometimes that change comes at a time when we really just need to reinvent ourselves completely and grow in totally new ways.
For me, it starts with a change in passions. Then a change in the ways I approach life in general, to allow myself to work through my BPD and the ways I jump from interest to interest. And now, well, now it’s time to change the outside to better reflect the inside.
No more staunch, military like attitude. I need to be creative and fun loving.
No more clean cut look. I need to allow myself the ability to put myself out there in the world and be okay with who I really am deep down.
No more risk assessing and playing it safe. I need to really just let go and live life to the fullest.
I only have this one life to live.
Now… It’s time for me to remove the worn out clothes of my past and allow myself to be free, to be creative, and to be a kid again…